Forget Yourself (Non Duality) w/ Emily Eslami

“The cornerstone of non dualism is that you can’t even hold onto non dualism - that non dualism is itself dualistic.” - Emily Eslami

Emily unpacks the perfection of paradox that is Non Dualism, Zen’s crowning ideal that it will never live up to no matter how hard it tries. How is it possible to stop our mind if it’s impossible to stop our mind? Is it true that everything we do is ultimately zazen, and if so why do we still have to sit? Does the sangha actually have hot non dual tips for us on mastering dinner party small talk and landing a relationship?? Find out here!

Blooming Buddhas (Zen Gardening) w/ Helena Harvilicz

“Plants are actually great meditation teachers. They really know how to stay put even in the face of danger.” - Helena Harvilicz

Crowd favorite Helena returns with all the dharma she dug up in her time as ACZC’s gardener, along with some words of wisdom from Dogen’s “Insentient Preach the Dharma. Are our plants and inanimate objects really whispering sweet truths to us like they did to Buddha under that tree? Is this a classic tale of setbacks in practice that lead to enlightening revelation? Or is it the story of a feeble-minded woman facing the horrors of old age and death who gets tricked into paying to do yard work by a somewhat boring cult (her words not ours…)?? Find out here!

Summer of Space (Writer’s Block and the Faith In Mind Inscription) w/ Dave Cuomo

Summer of Space (Writer’s Block and the Faith In Mind Inscription) w/ Dave Cuomo

Dave celebrates the lazy days summer by trying to cure a decade long writer’s block with the help of The Artist’s Way and some sassy ancient commentary on the Xinxinming that sounds uncannily like our own inner critics. What is Dave’s one trick to always be good at zazen? Why is Zen always telling itself it’s doing it wrong? And when we listen to those inner critics, do we get fueled by the friction or just tired and uninspired?? Find out here!

Comes and Goes (The Tathagata) w/ Jason Dodge

“It’s not your zazen, it’s just zazen. And it’s going all the time.” - Jason Dodge

Jason unpacks the meaning behind the Buddha’s beguiling nickname while reminding himself exactly why he does want to sit zazen during a hard month when the last thing he wants to do is sit down and do his zazen. Why did Buddha promise we all get to share his accomplishment while also promising it was something we could never know? What did he mean he’s the one who comes and goes, and why does our desire to sit come and go so easily when we need it most? Where is this zazen train even going and could we get off that train even if we wanted to?? Find out here!

The Red Badge of Suffering (Single Minded Effort) w/ Emily Eslami

“There’s a feeling of, if I was stressed out, then it must have been really good. Or people say, ‘I would meditate but I don’t want to lose my edge.’ But what heights could they attain without the misery and suffering?” - Emily Eslami

Emily throws us a bonfire of the attachments with a pointed talk on single minded effort. With readings from Shunryu Suzuki’s Zen Mind, Beginner’s Mind we take a good hard look at all the sticky sweet talking memories and ideas that keep us from fully doing the things we do. Is there a healthy place for praise and blame in our endeavors? Are we entitled to the fruits of our own actions? Is Emily’s casserole just too mouth wateringly delicious to burn up in the flames of enlightenment?? Find out here!!

Off the Rails (Faith In Mind Inscription) w/ Dave Cuomo

“When I look people in the eye lately they seem a little savvier, a little more self aware, and a good bit more confused. And I trust that.” - Dave Cuomo

As a retreat goes off the rails, Dave and the sangha try to find their faith in a practice built on the promise that everything is ultimately fleeting, empty, and full of suffering. Plus! A dramatic reading of Red Pine’s lithe (and downright Seussian) rendition of the Faith in Mind inscription. Can we rely on a tradition built on the premise that nothing is reliable? When we face the wall in zazen, can we trust that the zendo has our backs? Who do we trust more, the heart or the mind and is there actually a difference?? Find out here!!

Weltschmerz, Alcohol, & Sarcasm (What Am I Doing Here??) w/ Helena Harvilicz

“A Zen teacher once told me, ‘I’ve been watching you and you're a good sitter.’ And I think that's what they tell the people that are kind of stupid and really don't get it.“ - Helena Harvilicz

Long time friend of the sangha, Helena Harvilicz gives us a raw, funny, and heartening story of sarcasm and weltschmerz and wanting to make the world a better place with no idea how. Why do moms make such bad nihilists? Is it ok to laugh in the zendo when the voices in our heads are being particularly hilarious? What’s the difference between depression and deciding the world really might be a little disappointing? And can figuring that out help make us a better part of it??  Find out here!

Just Here to Make Friends (Meaning & Hierarchy) w/ Gyokei Yokoyama

“I kept asking the same questions, what is this about? Where's the teaching? And then they teach us, if you can't see everything there is, then that's your problem.” - Gyokei Yokoyama

Change is afoot in the Zen world as many sanghas undergo a generational  turnover in leadership and Gyokei has a sweet story to meet the moment of two monks trying to figure out who’s supposed to be steering the ship, and where it’s supposed to be headed. Is looking for meaning in our practice a hindrance, or unavoidable? Is Eastern Buddhism too attached to rigid hierarchies? Is the West too attached to avoiding them?? Find out here!

The Theory of Nothing (A Brief History of Emptiness) w/ Dave Cuomo

“The fact that the word ‘emptiness’ is still upsetting people 2,500 years later tells me, that must be an important lesson. Clearly it’s something we needed to hear.” - Dave Cuomo

Dave takes us on a walking tour of space with a slightly nerdy dive into the history of emptiness in Buddhism; what it meant when Buddha first said it, how that changed over time, what it means for us now, and how it can be a superpower for any tradition (or person) that knows how to walk it’s death defying tight rope by simply not seeing it as there in the first place. Did Buddha really mean to say everything is empty? And is that something we’re actually supposed to believe in literally? What is Dave’s secret recipe for the beer float that can liberate all beings?? Find out here.

Anxious Epiphanies (What Am I Doing here??) w/ Tanya Orlov

“What brought me to meditation was a desire to essentially eradicate my own neurosis. But the instruction to focus on not just what's happening inside allowed me to realize I was a part of an ecosystem, like a drop in the sea and less like the whole ocean.” - Tanya Orlov

Tanya generously shares her personal practice story of riding the hamster wheel of personal development through anxiety and neuroses, the practices that work to fight it, and the existential ease of dipping your toes in the ocean of everything that is happy to hold your best and worst moments. Is it possible to fight the fire of anxiety with the fire of focus? Why should we stick around if these Zen talks aren’t making any sense? Is there any freedom to be found in the rigidity of the forms?? Find out here!

Free Fall (Ambitions & Emptiness) w/ Sara Campbell

“I feel very confident… confident that I don't know what the f*** I'm doing.” - Sara Campbell

Sara takes us on a personal tour of ambition and emptiness, with a first hand account of how teachings on groundlessness do and do not prepare us for a world of gig economies, uncertain employments, and potentially dubious digital windfalls. What good is being grounded? What does it mean to be present for reality in an increasingly virtual world? And when we find ourselves in free fall, is it possible to land in the sky? Find out here!

Dave Cuomo - A Noisy Hullabaloo (How to Make Peace)

“The hardest thing for me to do is to peacefully watch somebody else screw up their life. But I'm told that's a big part of true compassion - letting go without turning away.” - Dave Cuomo

Dave looks at how to make lasting peace in the world while regaling us with the legend of Dongshan’s ‘Celebration of Silliness’, the week long banquet of delusion Dongshan threw for him and his monks on his death bed. What, if anything, do we owe our friends and families on our way out the great gaping door? Can evil really be destroyed or is it something we’re stuck with? And why are the enlightened out there insisting that they need all of us deluded folks to take care of them? Isn’t that supposed to be their job?? Find out here!

Henry Zander - A Real Heart Warmer (What Am I Doing Here??)

“Wind is liberated from the mountain, I is liberated from nothing at all… I’m here because I need y'all, because practice doesn't make sense without you.” - Henry Zander

Henry takes us to the Christian plains of the midwest to regale us with a personal practice story of finding yourself somewhat alone in your own weird wildness only to find the odd ways that singular experience can hone and flourish when shared with a community. How is poetry both a boon and a hindrance to practice? What do we gain and lose when we sit together versus sitting alone? How is it that a practice that preaches ultimate oneness can often leave us isolated and alone?

Dave Cuomo - Just Be Normal (History of Zen - Dahui vs Hongzhi)

“They say you can’t intellectualize Zen, but don't short change yourself. If your brain wants to understand it, do that first. The old masters all did. They knew exactly what they were talking about.

And then one day you might realize that even the highest level teachings aren’t enough. But you have to get them before you can realize that they’re not enough.“ - Dave Cuomo

History of Zen returns with a tale of dharma combat that's going to have eon long implications. Two epic frenemies are busy inventing modern koan and shikantaza practice while China is busy putting itself back together, only to promptly fall apart again. What are the roots of modern koan practice, and is ACZC doing them wrong? Why does Zen have a “right” answer for everything, and how did their philosophies get so tight? Was Zen designed to be secular or religious, and does it believe its own PR? Find out here!

Sara Campbell - Midnight at Dawn

“If you don't understand the way right before you, how will you know the path as you walk?” - Shitou Xiqian

Sara reflects on some challenging lines from Shitou to work through medical troubles in her family, while Shunryu Suzuki and Huangbo shed some light on the dawns and midnights of life that always seem to go hand in hand. How does practice help in the times we’re most reticent to sit down to it? Does insight best arrive in a flash or a slow dawning drip of emotion? Can 1000 year old poetry offer any cool comforts in times of crisis? Find out here.

Dave Cuomo - How to Stop Time

“’Don’t trust anyone…’ When you have this limited idea of trust, you put someone in a box. ‘Not trusting anybody’ means allowing them, moment to moment, to be different.” - Natalie Goldberg

Dave gets grumpy about getting to live his dream life, plus a reading from Dainin Katagiri’s “You Have To Say Something” along with a deep dive into all the valid reasons not to trust ourselves, our teachers, or the systems we work in. Is formal Zen training just one more toy to let go of, or is it the place we go to let go of our idealistic toys? Can we learn from systems and selves we don’t entirely trust? And when the moment arrives, should we stand strong and stare the great moose of truth in the face, or is the real wisdom to bravely run away?? Find out here!

Gyokei Yokoyama - Original Flavor

“How do you become a flavor that gives life to other flavors? How do you become a person that gives life to other practitioners instead of taking away their life?” - Gyokei Yokoyama

Bitter, salty, spicy, sour, or sweet - Gyokei gives us a subtle and patient recipe for finding our own true original flavor that brings out the best in all the rest. What melodies are waiting to sing to us in uncomfortable silences? Can we learn to trust the mind that lies behind our own self esteem? And is it ever really possible to taste what truly makes us special?? Find out here.

Emily Eslami - Nothing Special

“What would be so bad if I wasn’t the best?” - Emily Eslami

Emily regales us with the story of a young girl growing up wanting to think she was something special, only to find herself one of eight billion people thinking much the same thing. Reading from Shunryu Suzuki’s classic Zen Mind, Beginner’s Mind, this is the real life story of realizing all the anxiety and effort it takes to keep an ego afloat, and then learning to wield a wonderful power that is nothing special at all. Why is it often so frustrating to watch our friends succeed? If Buddha said we were so perfect just the way we are, why does Zen always seem to be telling us we’re doing it wrong? And if we’re not out there trying to be the best, will we still be any good?? Find out here!

Dave Cuomo - Babbling Buddhas (Mountains and Waters Sutra pt 1)

“If all of you have access to the same wisdom, and you all hear it in your own distinct ways, that also kind of implies that no one's ever gonna hear it like you. Whenever you feel that beautiful swell of connection, that’s for you alone. You don't get to share that. I don't know. It both like swells and breaks my heart at the same time.” - Dave Cuomo

Mountains walk and rivers talk as Dave delves into Dogen’s classic Mountains and Waters Sutra with the help of Shohaku Okumura’s classic commentary on this poetic and profound piece. How is Mahayana Buddhism so unapologetically based on a lie? (#fakebuddhaquotes amiright?). How do we do not understanding? Is turning off your phone during zazen and turning your back on your loved ones a heartless way of turning toward the truth? And why is Zen’s advice about dealing with anger making Dave so angry?? Find out here!

Jason Dodge - Mad Happy Buddha

“The assumption that things suck is totally safe. You can always prove it. But you miss at least half the world that way.” - Jason Dodge

Who’s afraid of the dark?? Just about all of us if we’re being honest. Luckily Jason’s here to shed some light on how to delight ourselves in the dharma of darkness, and why seeing the world in terms of good and bad is not ultimately a good thing. How can we take comfort in calamity? Why do Zen masters want to scold us for being good students? And is it possible to be an Angry Buddha without causing (too much) trouble?? Find out here!